How it Feels
by DarthAnimus
Summary: Armada - A songfic about Sideways thinking about his life. Does he regret anything?


Author's Notes:This story was inspired by a song from a Finnish band called Tiktak. I unpated this and removed the song lyrics since I noticed that lyrics aren't permitted.This story takes place after Sideways was discovered as a spy by the Decepticons.

**How it Feels**

**By: DarkAnimus**

Sideways sat on a rock on the dark side of the moon. The Decepticon base was far away from Sideways' current position, so he didn't have to worry about being spotted. The greyish ground glimmered in the fant ligh of the far-away stars.

Sideways kicked the dust on the ground slightly. Some of the greyish material rose to air and formed a small cloud over his foot. The dust soon landed back on the ground but most of it, however, landed on his foot, covering it in a grey layer.

Sideways' pink optics were dim. He was deep in thought, his consentration far away from the existing world around him. Sideways let out a heavy sigh in annoyance and his head removed itself from his neck. The grey minicon landed on his feet onto the grey ground, and stood there without emotion. Sideways' golden face appeared to replace the minicon head. Sideways glared at the minicon on the ground, and became even more annoyed than he was before. He couldn't ease his anger by using it on the minicon. The emotionless tool made just for him wouldn't even know it was being glared at, let alone being watched at all.

Sideways sighed again as he watched his minicon partner gaze into the emptiness of space. His lord and master, Unicron, had made the minicon just for him. It wasn't given to him as a partner. It was just a tool for him to fool the Autobots and Decepticons, a tool helping him decieve them.

Sideways shifted his other leg restlessly. Lord Unicron wanted absolute perfection from him and anything less than that would lead to an immediate punishment. Of course he was sure of his skills, but he still feared failure.

Sideways stood up from his place on the rock. He shouldn't be staying in one place when he was in such a mood. He needed to be on the move to be able to ignore the thoughts of doubt he had. He didn't want to think about his possible punishment. And he certainly didn't want to think about Unicron giving it to him.

Sideways shook his head and started walking. He didn't know if his minicon was following him and to be completely honest, he didn't care.

A bright light soon reached his feet. He had come to the side of the moon facing earth. At that moment Sideways could see the sun on the other side of the small and fragile planet. On that small planet were the minicons. And the Autobots. A picture of a certain Autobot came to Sideways' mind. A certain Autobot with bright blue optics. A certain Autobot with an armor of bright yellow. A cetain Autobot he had betrayed.

Sideways shook his head again. He didn't want to remember the look of disbelief on Hot Shot's face when he kicked the Star Sabre out of the young Autobot's reach. Sideways didn't want to remember the desperate shout coming from Hot Shot's mouth when he realized that he had been betrayed. Sideways didn't want to remember those things. They made him feel vulrenable. Sideways didn't want to think of it as regret. He didn't want to think about it as caring. Or maybe, that was actually what he wanted to think?

Sideways was starting to feel angry. He was feeling vulrenable and he didn't like it. It was all because of that naive Autobot that had trusted him so fully. He had trusted him in a way that only an innocent rookie can. He had trusted him like he had known him for years. He had trusted him like a friend. Sideways let out a low growl. He had betrayed that trust. He was supposed to feel like he had done well to fool the bot so completely. He had showed a great example of his skills to act and pretend. But...was it really just pretending?

Once again Sideways sighed. If he could just talk to his master about his feelings. His master would certainly cease his doubtfulness. Sidesways shook his head at that thought. And how could his lord possibly make him feel more sure about himself? Probably by punishing him in some way. Sideways knew what to expect if he told his lord about his current state of mind. Unicron would first tell him how disappointed he was. Then he would lecture him about the fact that they were supposed to do such things, they were supposed to be evil. Then would come the punishment. Sideways shivered at the thought.

Sideways sighed once more before turning to look behind himself. His minicon was walking through the dust, making small clouds appear around itself. Sideways watched patiently as his minicon walked to him. He sent a wordless message to the minicon and it turned into his head once more. Sideways felt the minicon lock itself in place, so it wouldn't fall off.

Sideways glanced back to earth. This time he was watching through the eyes of his mask. A mask given to him by his lord. Then Sideways realiced that the minicon wasn't there just to mask him and lie for him. It also freed him of all the heavy weight of quilt. Sideways decided, that as long as he had his minicon, he wouldn't have to think about the yellow bot. Sideways decided to sort out what he wanted later. When he wouldn't be wearing his mask anymore.

_**The End**_

Ending Notes: Just little something I put together, so I'm not really sure if it's good or bad... Give me your opinions, pretty please?


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